"I'm not dead, just anti-social!"
Mom: How was school today?
Me: Awesome! There was a bomb threat!
"oh look, its ricky, can i go follow him like some retarded
"Theres something about personal hygine, it just turns me on"
"His brain makes me feel dirty thoughts about him"
" I just wish for once that he could look horrible, or walk
into a door or something. Ya know, so I could laugh at him."
"I have this urge to have somebody else lick my retainer...specifically,
Me: I'm high on life!!
Mom: Your taking drugs??
Me: Endorphins mom
Mom: Your on drugs!!
Aren't stupid people great??
"We are all going to die from something like bird flu because
the government is more concerned with the Obesity epidemic. Damn you! Go to the gym!!"
"I enjoy finding corruption in what should be a place of high
morality thrilling...does that make me a less than outstanding person?? Oh...it does? Awesome!!"