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Train in the Woods

Home | Erika-isms | Bush Bashing | Shut up, Fool | Adventures of the Stupid Kind | The Crew | NY Rika ponders....

Shut up, Fool

I love talking about the stupid people I meet in everyday life...it's an addiction, what can I say?

Everybodies a little bit racist......
 
Now, while most people can attest to my being a nice, non-biased person, a true fact for the most part, my neighbors for something like 7 years have driven me to become, a little bit racist.
   When they first moved here, they were nice people, for the most part. One of there daughters was my age, we get along pretty well even now, but that could be because there are a total of 3 girls at our bus stop in the morning, D (that's what we'll call her) lives a house down from me, so, theres a mutual friend relationship going there. As for the rest of the family, well, they're are plenty of stories I could tell you. I spent a lot of my childhood playing with D, her sisters, and her cousins. Her cousins.... that is when we begin to have problems. Her cousins, start coming, straight off the boat mind you, to live with them. I am not talking one, or two, I am talking, a shitload! And these cousins cannot speak english. These cousins run free on our block, and in my yard, which is where I draw the line. Get out of my yard, it's not yours, I don't care if you were raised on a farm in a foreign country,and are an idiot. Get OFF, my LAWN. They also managed to almost blow up a portion of our house, I'm dead serious.
Then, the unthinkable happened when my Dad and I thought it couldn't possibly get worse, they bought the house across the street too, and there are even more of them now!! They go through our garbage, steal our garbage cans, leave things on our lawn, scream obscene things in foreign langauges late at night, annoy the crap out of us, and bother the neighbors. Now everytime I see them, "Goddamn immigrants!", comes to mind. I've been told that makes me a racist, and I don't care.


Imbeciles should be shot as a favor to society......
 
Recently the neighbors across the street moved. And sure, he was the first 60 year old who belonged to a motorcycle gang I had ever met, but really, loud music from the 60's and old guys in leather congregating across the street doesn't really bother me all that much. I was sorry to see our neighbor go, only because I was afraid of who would replace him, I was right to be scared. In moved our new neighbors: 1 obscenely thin wife, 1 obscenely fat husband, a daughter on her way to looking just like daddy, and 1 son who I can only hope is mentally retarded (otherwise, he is so stupid he should be shot). I mean, really, when looking at this family, one can only guess that the husband steals his wife's food! I get the urge to start slipping Bally's and other assorted diet/workout flyers under his door in excess. I honestly wonder how he makes it through the doorway sometimes. His daughter, she can be found flagging down the ice cream truck, every day. There son, now there is an interesting person, he walks around without his shirt all the time, rain or shine, whether it is hot, or not. I can't wait to see this kid in the dead of winter. Did I ever mention that he likes to put a giant ladder up against the tree in his front yard, without anyone around, and start cutting off branches or tying ropes to the tree? Nobody knows what he's doing, I'm not sure anybody ever will.
Last night was the Fourth of July, which I usually hate, but this year it turned out to be fun. That's beside the point, you can read about that elsewhere. Well, Mr.Intelligence was setting off fireworks last night, in his driveway, with dozens of small children (the "damn immigrants") around him, but no, it wasn't good enough to do one at a time, he just dumped a pile on the driveway, stood there with a match lighting them all, and tried to run away without physically harming himself. The best was when he decided to light a pile of God knows what on fire in his driveway, and then just threw the fireworks on them. Needless to say, he set his yard on fire, and I think his pants. My dad, holyboy, Rin, and I watched in astonishment. It went something like this,
Dad: He must be special.
Me: yep
holyboy: is he that stupid?
Rin: stunned silence
 
Yep, and then, the next morning I wake up to blasting hip hop music and my very intelligent neighbor setting off fireworks, from his porch. I swear, this kid is not very smart. This is what I was prepared to write, nothing more, and then the unthinkable happens. As I am writing this, it gets worse, I hear repeated "oh shits", and run to my living room window in alarm, clutching my phone in stunned fear that I would have to call 9-1-1. There he is, setting things on fire and spraying hairspray on them, then lighting old fireworks, then procedding to set his pants and the grass on fire.   I am officialy, stunned into silence.
 

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