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Adventures of the Stupid Kind

The 4th of July [insert word]-fest

The Fourth of July, a holiday that celebrates our nation gaining idependance from Britain, all the hardships and the.....WHO CARES!! There are Fireworks, that makes this day worthwhile in my book. I only hoped this year wouldn't turn out like the last, which went something like this:
 
Sister: Oh, lets set this thing on fire
Me: Yea
Sister: Be careful, Dad might see you
5 mins later....
Dad: You are grounded
Sister: I think he saw
 
This year I was determined to avoid that particular event, I was determined to actually enjoy myself. So, I did what any girl in my place does, invites members of her posse over. The day went something like this:
 
1:00- I eat Manhatten clam chowder, not feeling too well at this point, ears are red. I have an earache and am clutching my stomach in pain.
 
1:10- I am laying next to my toilet, on the floor, hoping the floor will open up and swallow me whole. Have ear drops and cotton balls stuffed in my ears.
 
1:20- I get up, after dry heaving for the last 10 minutes, was contemplating making myself barf to just end the pain.
 
1:25- I down 2 tylenols, an aleve, and a multi-vitamin. I set my chin, nothing short of death will ruin my Fourth of July again.
 
1:30 - I tell holyboy under no circumstances should he show up at my house without ginger ale, my stomach is having attitude problems and I do not wish to barf all over the grass in my back yard. I then clean my kitchen, which looked like a bunch of Gremlins (one's feed after 12'o clock) trampled through it.
 
2:00- Holyboy and Rin arrive, bearing Pizza, Mac & Cheese, tortilla chips, Boca Burgers (ewwww....), Brownies (score!), and Ginger Ale. Thank the Gods! Can you tell my friends are veggies?
 
2:05- We realise that not only had holyboy not seen The Fifth Element, but he also hadn't seen Sense and Sensibility. Regardless of it being a chick-flick, we still forced him to watch it. About 20 mins into the movie L-Drum shows up. We go outside to "meet and greet" the parental units. Her parents continue on to go into the back yard questioning about where our turtle is, the turtle we got rid of a year ago....Anyway, they tell her to call when she wants to come home, ok, that is do-able. I have the odd feeling her parents are not very fond of me, not as much as my turtle anyway, don't ask me why though.
 
3:45: We go outside and put food on our spiffy charcoal grill. Rin and holyboy we're having Boca burgers, L-Drum and I we're being the non-veggies, and eating cheeseburgers, real cheeseburgers.
L-Drum- Meat is good
Me: Is omnivorous a word? Cause if it is, we are, and only because these are cheese burgers....
 
 Now, things got interesting when the Boca burger fell through the grate and I had to retrieve it with tongs, this got more interesting when I realised the B-burger had somehow caught on fire, oh joy. I used my wonderfully good knack for causing momentary ADD and distracted people as I blew out the flame, then pulled the burger out with no noticable harm. Go me.
 
4:30- Playing Stratego and eating our burgers. I turn away and somehow when I turn back my cheeseburger, with the oh so nice toasted bun and everything is missing. Not funny at all I think, am fully ready to start a fight when I realise, oh crap, my burger in on the floor. Am thoroughly disheartened, am Bridget Jones alone on New Years, singing Celine Dione songs. No worries, holyboy fixed it for me, what can I say? God made my burger a sucess.
 
5:30: Sucessfully trumped holy boy and L-Drum, cause I am a stratego-beast. I also managed to hide a piece the entire game, apparently,holyboy says it's cheating, I merely think of it as creative strategizing.
 
holyboy: so what piece did I just kill?
me: whatever do you mean?
L-drum: it was important
me: I don't knwo what your talking about.....
6:00: We make a trip to King Kullen's, where we buy marshmallows, chocolate, and Gram-crackers, in hopes of making s'mores later.
 
6:30: Make nachos, nothing interesting here.
 
7:00: L-Drum and I contemplate the nature of my second known stalker, Rolly, he is scary.
 
7:30: We all play charades (pathetically) while consuming our gross looking nachos (as if that would stop us). The best of the night had to be holyboy imitating Hitler.
 
8:30: We attempted to make s'mores, only to realise the coals were no longer warm, then popped them in the oven. Me, being the impatient one of the group put mine in the toaster oven, guess who was the only person to have s'mores?
 
9:00- We watch fireworks from my front yard, and the special person across the street.
 
9:15- L-Drums parents show up randomly for her (scary), even though she didn't call, her dad stands in the front yard wearing some sort of "patriotic" get-up and mumbling incoherently, my dad thought he was drunk.
 
9:30- We start a game of random questions, while I am contemplating exactly what shape topiary I would be, holyboy spots a piece of firework that landed in our yard.
 
Holyboy: I always wanted a piece of firework before!!
Rin: Don't touch it
Me: Touch it and die
Holy: But...but
 
He puts in in his pocket and lo and behold, not a minute later it sparks, or whatever, and he shrieks, well that is what you get for being stupid holyboy.
 
The rest of the night went pretty procedure for a 4th of July, and of course the special neighbor who set his lawn on fire, and the cops coming cause the uptight neighbors complained. It may not have been entirely exciting, but it beats previous ones.
 
 
 
 


Unless something very exciting happens soon, I will probably be posting "The Digital Camera" disaster next. What is it, you ask? Well, you will just have to read and find out then!


Think this story sucks? Well, so do I, but be sure to contact me and tell me what you think regardless!

E-Mail the NY Rika at Shoortfri101@msn.com